NFTL - RDate 10.27

Here I am, back in the lab having escaped for a couple of days from the rigors of "Hell Month" (my annual period of spring cleaning and fix-ups before the launch of our summer schedule - more to follow on this dreaded ritual in my next post). And as this is my 30th post, I'm thinking it's time for a few follow-ups from the previous 10 months. So here are this edition's NFTL (notes from the lab).

Emerging from the Cocoon (7/17/12) - I would say this blog has gone pretty much according to plan so far. I've had fun sharing some new experiences, but mostly I've been providing back story. I've begun scanning and digitally archiving the family photos which has provided material for a few pictorial blogs. I've documented several recurring events from the annual family calendar. And I've shared quite a bit about my own favored hobbies and how I think the world works. Also, so far anyway, I've been able to avoid my self-identified taboo subjects (politics, religion and sports rivalries) despite an amazingly rich (and occasionally disturbing) news year, and have to date not offended anyone (as far as I know). So I'm considering myself fully emerged and ready to tackle my next 30 posts.

Chores (7/29/12) - The most accurate statement I can make is that I've survived. But it hasn't been pretty. I am now familiar with a host of inside and outside cleaning agents and implements. Recently I had cause to browse the "Cleaning" aisle at Home Depot and was awestruck by the products there. I saw cleansers for items I didn't even know got dirty. I have settled into a tolerable routine of de-cluttering, dusting, vacuuming, mowing, edging, sweeping, raking and kitchen cleanup with an occasional intense session involving rubber gloves, scrub brushes and hoses. But I'm clinging to the notion that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

Music Night (8/6/12) - Still going strong. The group completed its 108th collection Couples earlier this month and will take on the theme of Made in Detroit in August. The age range of participants for Couples was 16 to 65.

The Purge (8/30/12) - Since my previous comments on this issue, the pantry redo is holding up fine (see note at the end of Reading) and a few other spaces have been processed. Among these was the back coat closet. Here are a couple of before shots.

A couple of after shots.

And a shot of the payoff - items actually "purged" and bagged, ready for the trip to the Salvation Army.

The cottage kitchen also faced a minor redo to de-clutter the counters and make room for an expanded baked-goods storage area. Here are a couple of shots of the new knotty pine shelves (re-purposed from at least two previous lives in the Burk household) that made it all possible. The first now serves as the home of the bar glassware (an important department at Wiser Times). The second has the equally valued morning coffee equipment and supplies.

And here's a shot of the resulting nearly clutter-free kitchen counter. The three-shelf upper cupboard to the far left is now empty and capable of storing enough cheese bread, coffee cake, sandwich buns and cookies for a party of a dozen or more for an extended weekend.

Next in my sights is the long-term under-stair storage area accessed through the laundry room. It hasn't been touched in about 15 years. I'm working up my nerve and looking for a rainy day or two to take the plunge.

Lunch Poetry (9/21/12) - The new Lunch Bunch is now in full swing with a mid-May outing of 11 attendees, eight of whom continued after lunch by taking in a Tigers game. Here are a couple of shots of the folks who stuck around for the game. First, from left to right - me, Joe (just behind me), Mary (lurking behind Nancy), Nancy, Cindy (my baby sister), Greg, Vicki's seat, and Steve (everyone but Vicki, who's taking the photo).

And here's Vicki, back in her seat after photo duty.

And for good measure, here's the lunch poetry invitation that got things going.

The tradition has now been renewed.

Great friends, with marginal food.

So when next we eat,

Let's dine and go greet

The Tigers, to extend the mood.

Early on the 15th of May,

The Tigers and Astros will play.

So if you are willin'

The stands to be fillin'

Please join in, what do you say?

So just to recap this plan,

It's a lunch of our fave Mex-i-can.

Then off to CoPa

With lotsa hope-a

That our Tigers play well to a man.

Next up is a planned lunch and baseball outing for the end of July. Invitation to follow in early June.

Disney (11/1/12) - Yes, we've been back. First our updated statistics:

• Number of Burk family stays at a Disney Resort - 62
• Number of days involved in the 62 stays - 274
• Number of days at least one Burk family member has visited a Disney them park - 70

The highlight of the recent visits was a family reunion with all the kids, grandkids and great grandparents this past April.  It was, of course, a gas with beautiful weather, the grandkids getting their first real slug of the theme parks (that they can remember :-), and the four generations getting a lot of together time (with the family now spread out between Michigan, New Jersey, Florida and Texas that's not as easy to do as it once was). Here are just a few memorable shots from the trip.

First, the Michigan and New Jersey Burks fire up a hotel-room happy hour the night before arrival of the Texas Burks and the check-in to Disney. From left to right - me, Nancy, daughter Christy, daughter Cathy and her fiance Matt.

Here we have a couple of shots of the group on the bus to the Magic Kingdom. First, from left to right - son Ted, daughter-in-law Sara with grandson Cyrus on her lap, granddaughter (and princess) Leili (whose 5th birthday was this day), Cathy and Matt.

And one of me on the bus in full regalia. What?

Here we are at the Magic Kingdom, on our way to Cinderella's castle for breakfast with the Disney princesses.

And the classic group photo with Cinderella herself (yes, I mean the real one).

Here are a couple of action shots on the carousel. First a girl and her mom.

And a boy and his dad.

And one of grandpa in front of his favorite attraction on what we call "the old man tour".

Here's another classic theme park shot known as the "okay, now what?" moment. This usually occurs about an hour after lunch and about six hours into the park day.

Here we are back at the Old Key West vacation home, recovering from about a 20,000 step day. This first one is during a casual happy hour moment. From left to right - Sara, me, great grandpa Wendell, great grandma Dolores, Christy, and the back of my sister Wendy's head (sorry about that).

Later we moved on to dinner with the usual kid table/adult table arrangement. That's the front of my sister Wendy's head shown in the second shot.

The grandchildren, of course, are less concerned about family traditions when at Disney. Here they are recovering from the day in their own ways, Leili by watching yet another Disney movie and Cyrus with a well-earned sofa nap.

Of course, there was time for umbrella drinks by the pool.

And a little cribbage (see the Hangin' with the Ps post from 10/19/12) .

So a great time was has by all. Here's a final shot of the birthday princess with her unicorn.

And one final update - Vans (2/26/13) - Just so you know, our transition away from full-size van conversions is now complete. Our new Traverse has proved itself a worthy successor. Here are a few shots of our transport of a new kayak from home to the cottage. The kayak fit, just barely, with the appropriate combination of folded-down seats.

Of course, this required the rest of the cargo to be packed around, under and inside of the kayak.

And my Bride had to ride in the third row (with Kody).

But there was just enough room to comfortably pilot the load so....what's the problem?

Well, that's quite enough updates for this edition of NFTL, so I'll sign off for now.

Until next time. Hope you had a happy Memorial Day.

Movie Love Stories

This post is a follow up to the earlier Movie Westerns discussion, and continues my exploration of favorite films.

First I need to define this genre as I perceive it. I think it's safe to say that most movies have a component of love, as love is life's most powerful and complicated emotion. The most common form of film love is a guy pursuing a girl or vice versa (or in this enlightened era, a person pursuing another person of the gender, race, age, physical ability, sexual orientation and national origin of his or her choice). But there's also the love of or for a child or parent or sibling, love of a particular place, even a love-based caring and respect among groups of men and/or women (think The Big Chill or Diner).

So for me the mere presence of a love theme is not sufficient for a movie to fall into this genre. Rather, the defining feature of a film - it's primary message as well as the struggles of the principle characters - must be rooted in love to rise to the classification of "love story".

One other common component of a good love story is, of course, loss. While not an absolute requirement for greatness, a film in which one willingly suffers loss for the sake of love - most impressively actually gives up a love interest for a greater good - is in my judgment the finest form of love story.

As it was with westerns, my interest is to share my own experiences and engage you in a dialog rather than make an argument for the best love story movies ever. So here are my favorites, starting with an A-list. I'm sure most are familiar titles, but hopefully there are one or two surprises in here.

First up is Casablanca (1942). For me, Casablanca is almost in a category by itself (like Lonesome Dove for westerns). The story follows the plight of underground resistance leader Victor Laszlo (Paul Henried) as he flees Nazi-occupied France with his wife Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman). Their journey takes them to the free French North African town of Casablanca where they run into the local prefect of police, Captain Louis "Louie" Renault (Claude Rains), Nazi Major Heinrich Strasser (Conrad Veidt), and Ilsa's ex-love Richard "Rick" Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), an American ex-patriot soldier-of-fortune turned saloon owner. The dilemma of the story is whether or not Victor and Ilsa will be able to escape from Casablanca and the Nazis and make it to Lisbon where they can gain passage to America.

Complicating the story we quickly learn is the fact that Rick still carries a torch for Ilsa (and she for him) since they parted ways suddenly in Paris as the Nazis were marching in. This unfinished business of the heart sets up a second dilemma - if Victor is able to escape, will Ilsa go with him or stay with Rick now that they have been reunited?

It's interesting to note that this classic was seen as just another studio formula picture when it was made. In fact, it was shot simultaneously with another film Now Voyager, with two of the principle actors (Henried and Rains) playing roles in both films, alternating which set they reported to each day.

But movie goers cut this masterpiece from the herd once they got a good look at Rick in his white dinner jacket floating between free French, Nazis, old girl friends and resistance fighters - all without leaving his nightclub. And Ilsa with tears in her eyes and panic in her heart as her passion for Rick overwhelms her loyalty to Victor in the critical "you are our last hope" scene. Later the story leaps to yet another level of classic when Rick nobly saves Ilsa from her conflict. He bows out of the picture and sends her and Victor on their way as he holds off the police and the Nazis in the now legendary "we'll always have Paris" airport scene (whoa, I'll be right back - I need a tissue).

This film also introduced many of the most famous lines in movie history, from the aforementioned "we'll always have Paris" to "here's looking at you, kid" to "round up the usual suspects" to Rick's closing quip to Captain Renault as they walk off the airport tarmac to join the French Foreign Legion, "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship". And these are just a few of the many memorable lines from the Oscar-winning screenplay. (Oddly, the line most often attributed to this film - "play it again, Sam" - is not in the movie.)

And for those who might be interested, there is a very satisfying sequel to the story offered in the novel As Time Goes By by Michael Walsh. As Time Goes By provides the back story on the main characters of Casablanca and tells what happens to them after the last scene of the original story. Part of the narrative was crafted from the seven different screenplays that were written for Casablanca. The book reveals Rick and Sam's origins in New York, Ilsa's early links to the Swedish underground, and just who ends up with whom when the story runs its full course. If you're a romantic and a fan of Casablanca, As Time Goes By is a must read.

I could go on (and on) about the beauty and grace of Casablanca, but hopefully I've made my case. So let's move on. Next on my A-list is Gone With the Wind (1939). Unlike Casablanca, Gone with the Wind has very little to do with the noble side of love. Rather, it lays out in epic style the inevitable tragedies that result when love is selfish.  

The theme of selfish love is most vividly illustrated through Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh) and her misguided obsession with Ashley Wilkes (Leslie Howard). As probably everyone of you know (Gone with the Wind may be the most watched movie in American history), the story takes many twists and turns through several years, from the beginning of the Civil War through the era of post-war reconstruction. Through it all Scarlett pines for Ashley (clinging to the delusion that Ashley also secretly pines for her) and pursues one scheme after another to obtain his love, including stealing and marrying the beaus of two of her sisters as stepping stones, to keep close to Ashley, always waiting for her opportunity to strike.

Predictably, Scarlett has badly misjudged Ashley's character and intentions from the start, as he spends the movie coping with his own shortcomings and a doomed commitment to the fading South. Honoring family tradition, he marries his cousin Melanie Hamilton (Olivia de Havilland) who may be the most likable and honorable person in the movie. But while Ashley and Melanie are just plain nicer and more respectable than Scarlett, neither has her strength or resiliency. As a result, they both suffer one setback after another throughout the story, eventually coming to unfortunate ends.

And then there is Rhett Butler (Clark Gable). Sigh. Rhett's savoire-faire, raw masculinity and incredible good looks have rarely been surpassed on the silver screen. He is the ultimate dude. But alas, he is also the victim of selfish love. Rhett sees Scarlett for what she is - beautiful and smart but unprincipled, willing to go after what she wants at any cost - and he loves her for it, as that is how he sees himself. Unfortunately, Scarlett is so focused on Ashley she is unable to appreciate Rhett (even after she marries him) until the end of the movie when circumstances reveal that Ashley did not really love her after all. By then it's too late to make a meaningful connection with Rhett who has been through the ringer with Scarlett - including the loss of a child - and has nothing left to give.

So after colliding frequently in one way or another throughout the story, Scarlett and Rhett end the movie on separate paths. However, both go out with classic lines. Rhett's "frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" shocked theater audiences of the day, as swear words were rarely heard from the silver screen in 1939. And Scarlett's "tomorrow is another day" provided the final evidence of her immutable self-interest. Her final line could just have easily been "life really is all about me".

So how can a story with bad outcomes for all the major players become such a classic and make anyone's A-list? Can you say soap opera? Gone with the Wind with its grand visuals, tragic characters, and strong cast (including excellent supporting roles by Thomas Mitchell, Ward Bond, Hattie McDaniel and Butterfly McQueen) is just plain fun. It demonstrates that where love is concerned, the "downs" are just as valued as the "ups" (direction seems to be less important than magnitude), and that we like characters' fates to match their entitlements. So in love as in life, justice matters.

Though not as epic as my first two choices, I have three other love stories on my A-list. The next is Remains of the Day (1993). This Merchant-Ivory offering has broader themes, primarily the naivete of British nobility toward Hitler and the Nazis and the stark separation between the worlds of people in service and those being served. But the key story line is the unfulfilled love between Stevens (Anthony Hopkins), the butler of English manor Darlington Hall, and Miss Kenton (Emma Thompson), the manor's head housekeeper. Despite frequent opportunity and increasingly pointed overtures from Kenton, Stevens is unable to venture out of his protective shell as a man in service and pursue the feelings he most certainly has for Kenton.

The defining feature of the film is its austere portrayal of life in service, the pride and dedication it engendered and the sacrifice and pain it required. More recently, films like Gosford Park and the current PBS series Downton Abbey have built on these themes and perhaps taken them to new levels. But for me, Remains of the Day has a grace and simplicity that is overpowering.

Eventually, Miss Kenton resigns herself to Stevens' limitations and seeks a future elsewhere that includes love and a family. Stevens, though sharply aware that Miss Kenton's departure would represent a lost (and maybe his only) opportunity for love, is still helpless to act, his desires hopelessly smothered by his fear of moving beyond his contrived sense of who he is supposed to be. Kenton soon leaves, albeit reluctantly, to marry another suitor (the butler at a neighboring estate with whom she sets out to operate a small country inn in another part of the country).

There is a final meeting between the two years later. Kenton, now divorced, writes to Stevens to inquire about returning to Darlington Hall as housekeeper. Stevens, as excited as he permits himself to be, journeys across England by automobile (quite an adventure in itself it turns out for the unworldly Stevens) to see Miss Kenton and discuss her return. But when he arrives, Kenton announces that she has decided instead to stay in the west country and help raise her granddaughter. Even at this late date, Stevens is unable to consider the option of staying and pursuing the love that they both still feel. He is compelled to return to the only life he trusts.

Their final scene together is of Kenton departing on a bus in the rain, the two of them gazing at each other as the bus pulls away, she sobbing, Stevens literally immobilized with feelings beyond his capacity to accept and act on. Every time I watch this movie I keep hoping that Stevens will toss his brelly away and go racing after the bus, splashing through puddles loudly proclaiming his love for Kenton and promising to never again leave her side. So far, it hasn't happened. But I keep hoping.

Another movie on my A-list of love stories is Out of Africa (1985), mostly for the cinematography and an excellent performance by Meryl Streep as Danish baroness Karen Blixon. While uneven in its pace and a little schmaltzy in places, the grand visuals and the several unusual events that are portrayed in the movie make it very interesting to watch. The movie is based on the memoirs of Blixon and follows an unorthodox relationship between the once-wealthy and newly-married baroness trying to make it back financially by raising coffee on a plantation in Africa, and a free-spirited handsome Hemingway type named Denys Finch-Hatton (Robert Redford).

As it turns out, Karen's new marriage is only one of convenience (and title) to an old friend, but one that she was hoping would settle into normalcy over time. However, it quickly becomes obvious that that isn't going to happen as the new husband, Bror (Klaus Maria Brandauer), spends most of his time off leading big-game hunts and has little interest in a conventional relationship. Enter Denys, whom Karen hopes will fill the void. Unfortunately, Denys is long on enjoying the wonders of nature - including Karen - but short on commitment.

As the story unfolds, things go steadily downhill for Karen despite periodic good times (whenever Denys would show up, unscheduled of course and often with friends). Karen hangs in there as long as she can overcoming illness, strained relationships with Denys and Bror, bad weather and a tragic fire. The dignity and perseverance with which she fights through her hardships eventually wins her the respect of the local communities (native and European), but in the end she loses everything - including the men in her life - and is forced to return home to Denmark.

The attraction of this movie is the beautiful and often stunning vistas, the presentation of life in Africa (specifically Kenya) in the early 20th century, and following how Karen, Bror and Denys' differing views on life and relationships clash and evolve. My advice is to just sit back and enjoy the ride. As Nick, William Hurt's character in The Big Chill prudently notes, "sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

The final love story on my A-list is Rain Man (1988). Charlie Babbitt (Tom Cruise), a young down-on-his-luck hustler estranged from his family, attends the reading of his father's will hoping to fall into a nice piece of change. Instead, Charlie inherits his dad's classic car (a 1948 Buick convertible) and his prize-winning roses. Charlie also learns that the bulk of his father's estate (about three million dollars) has been placed in trust to cover the living expenses of his older autistic/savant brother Raymond (Dustin Hoffman), a brother he didn't know he had.

Faced with the disappointment of not getting the money he expected and pressured from back home to come up with a large amount of cash in a matter of days or lose his business, Charlie freaks out. He kidnaps Raymond and takes him on a cross-country trip from Cincinnati to LA in the Buick. Charlie's hope is that the trustee in charge of Raymond's inheritance will turn over at least part of the money to get Raymond back.

Of course, the trip hardly goes as planned. Charlie begins to realize that he may have bitten off more than he can chew. He also discovers that Raymond is the person he incorrectly remembers as an imaginary childhood friend he called "the rain man" and that a concern for his own safety as an infant was the cause of Raymond being institutionalized.

As they continue across the country and Charlie finds himself constantly running up against Raymond's various issues, he first begrudgingly, but then sincerely and with understanding, works to help Raymond cope. Among the many entertaining episodes is a Las Vegas segment (involving card counting and showgirls) that results in trouble, of course, but also lays the groundwork for Charlie accepting Raymond as he is and loving him as a brother.

By the time the Babbitt boys reach California, they have bonded (at least from Charlie's perspective). And with Raymond now back in his life, Charlie doesn't want to lose him. Charlie makes a concerted effort to obtain custody of and care for Raymond himself. But despite his feelings, he finally realizes that he is not capable of providing the care that Raymond needs. The final measure of Charlie's love for Raymond is that he lets him go, to return to the life that is best for him.

My guess is that most if not all of you readers are very familiar with this classic, award-winning film. But perhaps up until now you haven't really thought of it as a love story. To me, it was never anything else.

That covers my A-list. But let me close my discussion of love stories with a short list of other favorites that I would recommend.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) - This story of a man born old who ages in reverse, appearing younger each year, is incredibly unique. Brad Pitt as the title character and Cate Blanchett as the girl who falls in love with him are fabulous, each bringing poignant, understated portrayals to their roles. One can certainly imagine that aging in reverse would create a host of problems, and the film deals with these very creatively. But the study of the problems facing a person who loves and has a child with someone who ages in reverse caught me by surprise, and is the reason this film makes my list.            

Dr. Zhivago (1965) - This is the story of a creative young medical student who finds himself caught up in the Russian revolution and, through odd circumstances, in love with two markedly different women, one a product of the old Russian aristocracy and the other tied inextricably to the new order. Wanting only to practice medicine and write poetry, Yuri Zhivago (Omar Sharif) passes from one adventure to another, running into all sorts of dilemmas with different factions of the revolution, while bouncing between his first love and wife Tonya (Geraldine Chaplin) and his true love and soul-mate Lara (Julie Christie), often with little control over his fate. Like Gone with the Wind, Zhivago is a cinematic masterpiece best viewed on a big screen. Adding a bit of suspense to the story is the fact that it is told in retrospective by Yuri's half-brother Yevgraf (Alec Guinness), a communist party bigwig, to a young girl (Rita Tushingham) whom Yevgraf believes to be the long lost daughter of Yuri and Lara. And the music - haunting.

Sabrina (1995) - While the 1954 Humphrey Bogart/William Holden/Audrey Hepburn version of this story is more highly acclaimed, it is the Harrison Ford/Greg Kinnear/Julia Ormond remake that makes me smile. While admittedly lighthearted, this film has just enough drama and tension to be included in this category. This story of love among the beautiful people finds the clever (and as it turns out beautiful) chauffeur's daughter Sabrina (Ormond) coming of age and becoming the love interest of first David (Kinnear), the younger gadfly son of a super-rich family, and then Linus (Ford), the older all-business son. The story includes delightful performances by a supporting cast that includes Nancy Marchand, Richard Crenna and Angie Dickenson and ends up with a satisfying twist that includes an SST flight to Paris. But the fun of this movie is watching Ford - with no weapon of any kind - carry the lead in an entertaining love story.

Sliding Doors (1998) - This Gwyneth Paltrow vehicle makes the list because of it's clever plot structure. Caught in an unsatisfying relationship and having just lost her job, Helen (Paltrow) approaches the doors of a subway train on the way back to her apartment. From this point on the movie alternates between two separate story lines - how her life will unfold if she makes the train and how it will unfold if she misses it. The same characters are included in both story lines but with different events and some markedly different outcomes. John Hannah and John Lynch play love interests with Jeanne Tripplehorn playing the third corner of a love triangle. Paltrow's character has differing hairstyles and some distinctive behaviors in each of the story lines that help the viewer keep things straight. This is a great feel-good movie.

Tender Mercies (1983) - This is the bittersweet story of former country singer/song-writer Mac Sledge (Robert Duvall) who is working to recover from alcoholism. Down on his luck, he takes up choring for room and board at the home of Rosa Lee (Tess Harper), a young widow with a son. The movie is slow-paced and understated but loaded with emotional tension. Through his new relationship with Rosa and her son, Mac faces his past, regains his self respect, reconciles with his estranged daughter and resumes his song-writing career. The film has a rough look that fits the story and relies more on what is being felt by the characters than what is said and includes fine supporting performances by Betty Buckley, Wilfred Brimley and Ellen Barkin. Another interesting feature of the film is that Duvall wrote and performed his own music, and it's pretty good. Everyone should see this film at least once.

And a closing note - You may have noticed that I haven't included any musicals or what I would classify as romantic comedies on my list of love stories (such as Love Actually, one of my all time favorites). This is because I consider these to be separate genres that will be covered in their own future posts.

So this is my take on movie love stories. As always, comments are welcome as well as recommendations you may have for worthy love stories I may have overlooked.

Until next time.