Memory Lane - The Honeymoon Continues (August to November 1980)

When I left off on this tale, Nancy and I had just returned from my first visit to the Toronto relatives in early August. But the summer - and our extended honeymoon - was far from over. There was lots more fun to have before we settled into our marriage groove.

First up was a trip to the Detroit Zoo. Here was our upbeat crowd at the outset of the day. Note the many happy faces.

Kneeling in front is my sister Wendy's daughter Jennifer. Sitting in the strollers from left to right are Wendy's niece Heather, Wendy's daughter Melanie, my son Ted and Wendy's son Tristan. Standing in the back are Wendy, Nancy and Wendy's hubby Dick M. 

Zoo visits were always one of the kids' favorite outings. They loved riding in the strollers (in which they in turn liked to push us), the snacks, the train rides, and the extraordinary animals - like these.

Of course, all this activity would take its toll, as demonstrated by this pic taken later in the day. Fewer smiling faces.

Except for this little guy, who usually found something to be happy about.

Next up was a visit to my parents' home in Linwood. Sometime during that weekend Nancy and I donned our party clothes for some reason that I can't remember. But here's the proof. Perhaps we went out for our two-month anniversary.

But most of the visit was quite informal. On Sunday we were joined by my sister Cindy, her boyfriend Mitch, and my brother Jeff and his family for a backyard picnic. Here are some scenes. First, my dad with Ted on the front stoop.

Here we have Mitch, Cindy and Jeff out by the garden.

Brother Jeff and my dad de-silking corn on the cob for dinner.

My Bride was caught off guard for this rare shot of her in a Michigan State sweatshirt. It had become unexpectedly chilly, I'm guessing. 

And can't forget our little canine charge Heidi in what was likely her first visit north.

After the Linwood trip, we spent a few days at home (and at work) and then headed back up to Ipperwash for a more extended vacation and more time with the Canadian relatives. This trip also marked the beginning of my one and only venture into bearding. More on that shortly.

Pics from our times at Avon Rae cottage will be plentiful throughout this extended saga. So I will opt to share only those pics from each of our visits that have become memorable over time, or that capture classic moments in cottage life. Like this one of Uncle Ken. Pretty much every afternoon Ken would make it down to the beach about 4:00, take a dip in the lake and assume this position.

During those early years Uncle Ken had arduous bartender duties at happy hours. This is how he charged up his batteries to get through the ordeal.

Another relationship that was emerging at the time was my son Ted getting to know and becoming family with his new cousins, from both the American and the Canadian sides of the family. Here's a picture I've had on the wall at home for 40 years now of Ted and Nancy's brother Dave's son Brian. They are only three months apart in age and have shared many adventures over the years. I believe this is the first picture we have of them together, at four years old playing on the beach at Avon Rae.

After cleaning up the dinner dishes at the cottage, it was common to go for a family walk. The beach at Ipperwash is Carolinian in character and at that time was wide, long (three miles or so between two points) and comprised of very fine gorgeous sand. Here's a shot of a few of us out for one of those evening walks. From left to right are myself (not sure what's going on with the OSU tee), Nancy's brother Dave, Dave's bride Barb holding six-month old son Matt, with Ted and Brian in front.

 

Another common activity at the cottage was sailing on the family Bayviewer, a small single-sail craft about ten feet long. I was never much of a sailor, but I took this opportunity to look like a beach bum hanging on his ride with a bud. Note the beginnings of a little scruffiness. Dude.

Can't forget a shot of my Bride with her new family, enjoying the surf and the sand.

Another cottage ritual at the time was to bring Nancy's maternal grandmother Edna out from her assisted living quarters in London for a day at the beach. The sons-in-law, Rae and Ken, shared the privilege of sponsoring this visit with one conducting the pickup and the other the return trip. Here is Edna in all her glory (95 years old at this sitting) enjoying a rare glass of wine. Note the chair she is sitting in. It now resides in the family room at Wiser Times.

By the end of our week-long stay at Avon Rae, we had settled in to a pretty smooth cottage vacation routine. And I would say, we're still in it. Also, note that my new beard is trying to emerge.

Before I joined the LeRoy family and became a cottager of sorts, I was a camper. Through my late teen years and twenties I frequently roamed the State of Michigan with one friend or another, staying mostly in state parks but also in the occasional state forest campground. As a result, one of my contributions to the marriage was a raft of camping equipment. This included a large blue wall tent, a sizable screen porch and all sorts of sleeping, cooking and dining paraphernalia. So for Labor Day weekend that first year Nancy, Ted, Heidi and I went camping at one of my favorite spots - Traverse City state park. 

Let me say at the outset that in my view there is a world of difference between camping and cottaging. As a matter of fact, I would say with a level of confidence that the only real similarity is that neither is as convenient as just staying home. With effort, and a bunch of money, one can upgrade a cottage to approximate home comfort levels (Wiser Times a case in point). But camping is camping. If you don't love it, you shouldn't do it. 

I know, some of you have taken to fancy motor homes, deluxe travel trailers or elaborate pop-ups. Those are all great ways of getting out and enjoying nature. But none are truly camping. Camping involves tents, air mattresses, sleeping bags and a lot of full-body contact with good old Mother Earth. Also you need to be proficient with stake hammers, taught-line hitches and entrenching tools. Suffice it to say that over the years the demands of camping have led our family to lean more toward cottage life, and to place our camping equipment into secure long-term storage. In 1980, however, we were on the front end of this learning curve. Take a look.

First a shot on the road. Not that easy to stow all the required camping equipment in a Chevette. But a snowmobile trailer converted into a mobile shed with a tarp? No problem. 

Note the fancy tie job on the tarp. That's another one of those important camping skills.

Below, a couple of moments from the set up which is always a messy process. Here Ted is wondering what he has gotten himself into.

Here's a shot of me mid-pitch. I think this was about four hours in.

Things took a little longer than planned as one of our crew kept taking "chew" breaks.

But eventually, camp set up was complete. Even picturesque.

With "big blue" in all her quiet glory.

The work done, we settled in for a long weekend of enjoying the park. First a dip in Grand Traverse Bay.

Some stops at the playground.

And of course, some of that "close to Mother Earth" time. Here, the evening bedtime rituals.

Our first family trip to the great North American forest was a success. We made it home safe and sound with a commitment to do it again sometime. 

Through September we continued our honeymoon "tour", visiting old friends and participating in traditional social events as a new couple. One of the highlights was Nancy's inclusion in the first women's foursome to ever play in the IRS's annual fall golf outing. Below is a pic of these gender-barrier breaking pioneers. They were all Collection Division managers. From left to right is Gloria Jean Boyd, Nancy, Claire Brooks and Patti Cooper.

 

In this pic I have joined Nancy for the post-golf clubhouse party. As I recall, the pioneers made it in just before moon rise, having been assigned the final tee time of the day. I guess there was still a way to go on the gender barrier thing.

October saw two big family events. The first was Nancy's birthday which included a gathering of more LeRoy family members. Like Uncle Bill (Nancy's dad Rae's brother) and Aunt Jeanne shown below.

And Aunt Inez (pronounced "eye-nez", Rae's sister).

Of course, we held the traditional ceremonies including the blowing out of candles assisted by experts.

And the paying of tribute.

Note Ted's footwear.  This was during what we referred to as his cowboy period.

The other big October event was our first Halloween. 1980 was rather low-key compared to Halloweens of later years. Still, even then Halloween was the Number 2 day in the kid year. So it required its due. Here's a shot of me with Donald Duck - as portrayed by son Ted. Note that like all serious trick-or-treaters, Ted is packing a primary and backup candy receptor.

One other October event of lesser note was the receipt of my first managerial performance award. I was happy to get it as it was my first year as a manager. Here is a pic of me with my boss Roger L. (on the left) and our division chief Dick H. I think it was the beard that clinched the deal. 

I didn't hold on to the cash very long. It turned out that the amount was just enough to cover a brand new 20" Sony Trinitron television, a fancy rig in 1980. My "deward" TV" (as Ted called it) was ensconced in our little Harper Woods house den by dinner time.

As we entered November, it began to feel that our months-long honeymoon run might be winding down. We were thoroughly oriented to each other's families, had met most of our respective close friends, had settled in to a comfortable routine, and had worked through our first series of compromises about living together (chores, menus, fiscal priorities, control of the stereo - the important stuff). But there was one more event before our total shift to a new normal. That was my birthday.

It was a quiet affair held in our Harper Woods house. Nancy's parents Rae and Marge attended, as well as son Ted who was with us for his regular every-other-weekend visit. Here I am with Ted about to make it official.

 

With Nancy and her folks looking on.

Let me close this episode of "Memory Lane" with one last shot of the birthday boy - 33, newly married, doing well at work and optimistic about the future. I call this my "one happy dude" pic.

So the honeymoons came to an end, and the serious business of growing a family was at hand. Next time, we'll move into that chapter.

Till then,

Grosse Pointe Charles

Memory Lane - And So It Begins (June to August 1980)

After dancing around this aspect of my blog for years, it's finally time to get down to business. As noted in my last post, the stay-at-home era of my retirement journey has enabled me to spend more time with my hobbies. More honestly, it's forced me to face up to a responsibility I've always felt fell to me as a dad. Documenting our family history in pictures.

From the get-go Nancy and I have always taken a lot of pictures. It started out with a cute little fancy camera gifted to us for our wedding by some very close friends. It was a Pentax Auto 110, a mini SLR camera small enough to fit in your shirt pocket. It came with attachable telephoto lens, wide angle lens and flash unit. It was very cool.

From there we graduated to a series of 35 mm jobs that served us until the 21st century when like the rest of the world we graduated to digital. Two are shown here. They are the survivors.

I say survivors because I lost two other 35 mm cameras over the years in very "dad" ways. The first one was placed very carefully on the roof of our car as I was loading child car seats or something. Then I drove off. Didn't realize my error for several miles (oh like that's never happened to you).

The second lost camera incident was even more colorful. The victim disappeared into the Huron River while I was taking an action shot from the rear seat of a canoe. We hit a rock just as I was focusing. The camera went flying - not even sure in which direction - as I struggled to keep myself and Cathy, the subject of the intended photo, in the boat. And yes, I had removed the cord from around my neck moments earlier to get just the right angle for the shot. As my father-in-law Rae liked to say, "It isn't easy being stupid".

We also dabbled here and there with home movies. We bought a nice VHS-C movie camera.

We took a number of movies in the early going. I found them interesting, and it was nice to have the kids voices captured for posterity. But the videos were too brief and infrequent to serve as a true family history. The movie camera was just not convenient enough, especially away from home. However, this expensive toy did have its day. The kids used it on several occasions to play movie maker and entertain friends. They also used it for a few school projects that turned out pretty well. So we feel that we got our money's worth.

In the beginning of our pre-digital period we alternated between print film and slide film. Eventually, because of their versatility we went almost exclusively with slides. I'd say from the early 90s on. Before we were done with 20th century technology, we managed to stack up over 70 100-slide carousels.

So. Now you can see what has intimidated me about this project for so many years. That being to scan the 7000+ slides along with 1000+ prints into digital form. And being a not-so-closet OCD carrier, I feel an overwhelming urge to review and edit each scanned file and organize them all into proper date sequence. Can't help it.

Okay. Enough of my pain. I'm dealing with it. And have procured the necessary tools and lubricants to proceed. So here we go. My first Memory Lane post was in October 2012. It covered our wedding in June of 1980. I'll take it from there.

I would describe the period immediately following our wedding as "the honeymoons".  The first, of course, was the actual honeymoon. It consisted of a three-day weekend at the Marriott in Ann Arbor. The posh one, on Geddes Road. Pretty glamorous, eh? What can I say? We had limited funds and even more limited vacation time. After taking Monday off we reported back to our professional lives on Tuesday.

Here are a few shots of what I like to call "The Marriott Caper". The first ones are of what all newlyweds do on their honeymoon - sit by the pool.

And catch a few rays. This pose is still one of my favorites.

As is this one.

Then there was riding around in Nancy's little green Chevette, visiting old haunts and dining out.

The "for the record" confirmation of the upscale venue.

We also took walks by the river and discovered duck watching. Seems like we have done quite a lot of duck watching in our now 40 years of marriage. Parks, Disney resorts, the lake. I'm happy to say that ducks seem to be about everywhere, and they're almost always in a good mood.

The other perhaps unusual activity that pervaded our short but sweet honeymoon was going to the movies. Nancy and I have always been big movie people. So between other honeymoon activities we caught several of the latest films of the day. Eight, actually. I can't remember all of them, but I'm pretty sure Kubrick's adaptation of King's "The Shining" was among them (not your typical love-birds movie). I have to admit that the weekend was a bit of a blur - but great fun. And it set the tone for the active but simple social life we have maintained for so long.

The second "honeymoon" period covered most of the next six months. It was the time during which as a couple we established relationships with both sides of the extended family and launched what would eventually grow into our active cottage life.

But the first order of business was to set up our household. And that required - a house! So we found this little bungalow rental in Harper Woods.

And settled in very domestically. We were quite happy as shown in these "only been married a few days" pics. Blissful, is how I would put it.

Of course there were chores to contend with, we being aspiring responsible community members. From the beginning we took an equal partner approach to such things. Like yard work.

Meal prep. Yes, that's me at the controls of the grill (a sight few have beheld in more recent years; that befuddled look on my face eventually ended in me being relieved of any duties involving flammables).

And auto maintenance. Nancy here enthusiastically assisted by a giddy little Teddy.

You get the idea. Things were going smoothly. To celebrate our transition to married life we ended June with a gathering of my side of the family at a fun restaurant in Saginaw called Holly's Landing. It was also a celebration of my parents 30th anniversary (our anniversary dates being only four days apart, this joint ritual would be repeated many times over the years). Attending from left to right were my dad Wendell, mother Dolores, sister Wendy, sister Cindy's boyfriend Mitch (in back), Wendy's husband Dick, Nancy and sister Cindy.

Owing to the vagaries of life, I believe this is the only picture ever taken with this particular group.

July of 1980 began with an interesting gathering at our Harper Woods digs. I had recently completed my first year of management, which was as the manager of a revenue officer training group. As was typical of training groups, all of the graduating trainees were about to be reassigned to other line Collection groups around the state. So the graduates along with their coaches and a few invited guests celebrated and said their goodbyes with a backyard cook out.

If you are or were an IRS employee (or a non-compliant taxpayer :-) you may have encountered one or more of these individuals as they set about their careers. Here are just a few pics of the occasion. In this first shot we have Linda L (later known to most as Linda W) with graduate Karen K (last names omitted due to NDA requirements).

Here we have guest Kathy S. with graduate Larry M.

Graduates Phil S., Lois R. and David H.

And finally coach Cynthia L., guest Eric E. and my bride.

Things went pretty well, and all parted company on the best of terms. We did have one unfortunate incident. Unbeknownst to us, our six-month old puppy, Heidi, had spent the afternoon cruising around the backyard sampling unattended wine glasses. After everyone had departed we found her passed out behind the backyard maple tree. She recovered, thankfully, and as far as we know no complaints were filed with the ASPCA.

Soon thereafter we took our first trip to Ipperwash Beach and Avon Rae cottage, the LeRoy family Canadian getaway on the southeastern shore of Lake Huron. I had been there before, during the courtship, but that was different. I hadn't yet been formally admitted to the family. Now, I was in. Time to party. Here's a shot of the cottage as it was in the summer of 1980.

At that time there was no seawall, just a gently sloping sand dune down to Lake Huron. Two distinguishing characteristics of the cottage - the old sign and the wooden porch - were still intact. This venerable structure (sort of a large, two-story wooden tent) has seen a lot of upgrades over the last 40 years. We'll get to them in time.

But more importantly the visit was my first opportunity to meet and get to know the Canadian side of the family. First there were the cousins, more like Canadian sisters to Nancy, Lynne on the left and Ann.

And their parents Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Ken.

You'll see a lot more of these beloved relatives as we continue our journey. They have been a big part of our life as a couple.

I'd like to share one final shot from that first visit. Here are the newlyweds about to crack a big honkin' bottle of champagne to celebrate. Note the semi-faded red sofa-sleeper that we're sitting on. It's another one of those distinguishing Avon Rae characteristics that has since fallen by the wayside.

Later in July Nancy and I had another little adventure. Turned out that the Republican National Convention was in Detroit that year. So what the heck. After work one night we along with some work friends took the trolley from the Patrick V. McNamara building (where our IRS offices were located) to the fairly new Renaissance Center, where the madness was ensuing. Here are some memorable shots.

First, the big picture.The Ren Cen in all of its original glory.

And our fun conveyance. Way before the people mover.

This is a shot of the Horace E. Dodge and Son memorial fountain. The photographer was the creative member of our little group, Bobby Douglas.

Here is the lower level gathering and vendor area, which to this day is a common venue for Detroit's series of summer music festivals.

And my companions - bride Nancy, Mary Aguzzi and her hubby Dick Hickson, Patty Cooper and her hubby Bobby D. .

Here we are looking for treasures in the inventory of a political pin trader.

And a final shot of the still newlyweds with our pin purchases. Yes, that's me in a rare U. of M. shirt appearance. If you can't quite make out the pins mine is a head shot of J. R. Ewing (of Dallas fame), and Nancy's says "Detroit Loves a Good Party". Since then we've tried to contribute to that concept as often as possible.

Unfortunately there was a little more adventure associated with this outing than we were looking for. At that time during work hours we parked our car at the Bagley Street Garage, lovingly referred to by its patrons as "rusty ramps". We left the car there that afternoon when we trollied to the Ren Cen. What we hadn't realized was that the garage closes at 8:00 pm. And I mean closes. Nobody in, no cars out until 6:00 am the next morning.

Having spent most of our pocket money on party food and drink, plus the pins of course, we found ourselves standing outside the closed garage with very little cash. A little under $13 actually. This was pre-cell phone by several years, and Uber was a full generation away. Also, it wasn't fashionable (or prudent) then to use credit cards for cab fare. But desperate, we took a chance and flagged down a cab on Michigan Avenue hoping our funds would be adequate.

Our Harper Woods place was about 12 miles from downtown. As our cab driver cruised out I-94, our eyes were glued to the meter. As we pulled off the freeway at Allard Avenue the meter was pushing $11. When we finally pulled up in front of our home on Huntington a few blocks away it read $12. We breathed a sigh of relief, gave the cabby everything we had, jumped out of the car and beat it to our front door. Suffice it to say, the cabby didn't get much of a tip. I've always felt bad about that, and it has caused me to basically over-tip all service providers since. Guilt is a tough thing to shake.

We wrapped up July 1980 with one more newlywed ritual. Nancy carted me off to the Toronto area to visit the Canadian relies. While we had had a nice initial visit at Ipperwash Beach with Nancy's Uncle Ken, Aunt Evelyn and family there's nothing like seeing people in their natural habitats to learn what they are really all about. As I have noted in several previous posts, especially the one called "Canadians", these people are special.

I had a great time getting to know them better, hearing stories about the long history of the McKellar girls (Nancy's mom Marge and her sister Evelyn), their extended families and the close relationships they have maintained through the years. And I was warmed by their interests in our newly formed family and our plans. As you will read in later Memory Lane posts, this first visit laid the groundwork for what has been a forty-year good time for me, for Nancy and her cousins, and now two generations of children. A case in point is this pic, shot last August in Clearwater Beach Florida.

This is Nancy's first cousins twice removed, Reid and Emily (grandchildren of Nancy's cousin Lynne), sharing beach treasures with my mother Dolores after we all met for a seaside lunch. That's a four generation international connection. We've had a lifetime of such memories.

Back to 1980, our late July/early August visit included seeing the highlights of Toronto, such as Eaton Center,

The CN Tower,

Toronto from the top of the CN Tower,

Ontario Place, including an open air concert by Judy Collins,

and the usual backyard cocktail hour. From left to right we have me, Uncle Ken, cousin Lynne, cousin Ann and Aunt Evelyn. This was actually the dawn of my slowly-developed but impressively durable Manhattan period. Apparently what happens in Canada does not stay in Canada.

Let me close out my reboot of Memory Lane with this shot of Nancy with our gracious hosts, Evelyn, Ann and Ken, as we prepared to return to the homeland.

Well, I hope this taste of our family's origins has whetted your appetite for a little more. Now back to the slide scanner.

Grosse Pointe Charles