Sunday, March 16, 2025

Memory Lane - The Holidays Return (November and December 1987)

When I began my Memory Lane journey, I knew I would enjoy remembering and in a way reliving our family story. What I didn't expect was the transformation of so many of my memories from vague thoughts and images to very precise recollections. This change has been driven by my immersion into our family's well-organized photo library. The pictures frequently evoke detail I had forgotten. 

In addition to clarifying exactly what happened when, the photos provide a record of the subtle but constant changes in our daily lives - growing kids, changes in living environments and personal appearance, evolving social circles, and more. The photos also reveal that while our family enjoys many recurring activities, those activities never look or feel quite the same from year to year. 

Speaking of recurring activities, I'd like to return to Memory Lane in late November of 1987. Fresh off the marathon birthday season, we headed up to my parents' place for Thanksgiving. My mother put on the usual spread for the big meal. Here we are at the expanded table ready to dig in. That's my sister Cindy peaking out from behind my mother on the left.

It was a quiet weekend, as neither my brother Jeff's nor sister Wendy's families made the trip. We took the opportunity to just relax, catch up on hometown doings (for me) and recharge for the holiday foot race about to unfold. 

In this pic, Ted is explaining the finer points of his needlepoint project while I glaze over. Christine appears to be rapt with curiosity, as was her way.


Cathy spent her quiet time working on her blanket folding skills. It's trickier than it looks.


Back in the Pointes we were slowly gearing up for Christmas. First there were the Christmas dresses. A review of my 1986 Christmas photos indicates that these fancy green dresses were new this year. Nancy confirmed that they were courtesy of Grandma LeRoy.


Speaking of changes, when I look at the picture I see a white flagstone wood-burning fireplace, complete with tools and an oversized screen. And if you squint, you can just make out a sliver of our old white fleur-de-lis wallpaper above the mantel. Blasts from the way past. 

This next picture is an early example of a parental ploy we often used to persuade the kids to smile for the camera. If they cooperated on a good picture, we would take another picture with them making the fun/bad face of their choice. Ted and Christine were into it. Apparently Cathy didn't get the memo.


The first formal event of that Christmas season was an elementary school fund raiser known as Breakfast with Santa. In their later years at Ferry Elementary the girls would participate in the breakfast as Santa's helpers. But in '87, it was all about seeing the big guy in the red suit. And, of course, showing off the dresses.


Fresh from a successful Santa encounter, Christine celebrated with pancakes. Clean plate club.


I could find no pics of Cathy dining on pancakes at the breakfast. I'm guessing it may not have been pretty. Syrup, butter, sticky fingers in the hair. You get the idea.

However, I did find this picture taken at home a day or two after the Santa breakfast. In it Cathy appears to be claiming clean-plate status. But a close look at everything but her plate suggests that her technique needs a little work.


Another less formal pre-holiday event at our house is the baking of Christmas cookies. This critical skill has been passed down from mother to daughter in the LeRoy family for generations, and Nancy was committed to continuing the tradition. Her philosophy is that you can't start too young. Below is a shot of Cathy with what most likely was her first few moments with her hands on a rolling pin. You can just feel her baking genes coming alive.


In this pic big sister Christine, a veteran of earlier cookie-baking efforts, anxiously awaits her turn to sprinkle flour, mash dough and play with the cookie cutters. Fun.


We were so busy enjoying (eating) the results of this tutorial session that we forgot to take any pictures of the final products. Photographer's oversight. 

With all the preliminaries tended to, Christmas Eve finally arrived. Here are the girls jammed up and ready for bed, about to hang their stockings. 


And the final pic from Christmas Eve as the weary parents headed off to bed. 


That period between taking the above picture and taking the picture below is for me the eye of the storm. The perfect moment. The shopping, decorating, wrapping and often late-night assembly tasks are over. And the gifting frenzy, cleanup, hosting and cardboard crushing have not yet begun. Not to mention the undecorating. It's a few hours of peace and true relaxation.

The irony is that for kids, the time between hitting the sack Christmas Eve and hitting the floor Christmas morning drags on for ever. But for adults, it can't last long enough (for a full recitation of my views on the holidays, see the series of posts from 2019 beginning with The Holidays Part 1).

On to the big day. Step 1 - the obligatory opening shot. The little darlings waiting patiently. At two and a half, I'm not sure Cathy knew exactly what she was waiting for. But it didn't take long for her to figure things out.


Step 2 - the stockings. Note the concentration. To quote Old Man Parker from The Christmas Story, "There could be anything in there!"


Step 3 - everything else.

 



Even our loyal Schnauzer-Terrier mix Heidi got into the action. What's better than a brand new ball.


From the next couple of pictures it's evident that Nancy's parents had stayed with us over Christmas Eve that year. This was a rare occurrence as they only lived a few blocks away. Here's a shot of Rae deftly peeling back some fancy wrapping paper. 


Here we have Marge enjoying a post-gifting-frenzy recharging moment with the girls, while I gaze adoringly at my 1988 Star Trek calendar. 


Eventually we tidied up a bit and prepared for company. 


Mid-afternoon Nancy's brother Dave and his family arrived for the final phase of the day-long celebration. We had an extended happy hour and a big dinner. This picture is of marginal quality but it captures the moment for posterity.


From left to right we have Nancy, yours truly, Rae (coat and tie, of course), nephew Matthew, Christine, nephew Brian, Cathy, Dave, Marge (peeking out) and Dave's bride Barbara. An august group if there ever was one.

After all the visitors departed, we each recovered from the day's events in our own ways. Some of us relaxed with a favorite new possession. Others napped. And one crept back to tend to unfinished business.


The rest of the holiday vacation was pretty low key. There was some kitchen maintenance.


And some experiments in personal grooming.


And quite a bit of this. I think they were binging Saved by the Bell - The Lost Episodes, or something equally educational.


There was one other social event of note that last week of the year. Nancy and I hosted a quiet but entertaining New Years Eve get together with a few friends.  


From left to right are Linda C and her steady at the time Art, Kathy S and Tom Y in from Chicago, and your hosts. There was lively conversation, liquid encouragement, lots of sweaters and apparently for one of us a new hair style. It was a fun way to send off 1987.

See you next in 1988, at least blog-wise.

Grosse Pointe Charles 

Thursday, February 20, 2025

Memory Lane - Everybody Gets Older (October and November 1987)

When I stepped off the main drag of Memory Lane last August, I had finished sharing our family adventures through September 1987. In this post I'll take you a little further. Think layer cakes and wrapping paper. 

October was always a birthday marathon for the LeRoy family. It started on the 5th with two birthdays, Nancy's mother Marge and her brother David. Part 2 was on the 11th, father Rae's birthday, with the grand finale on the 30th, Nancy's birthday (known as Devil's Night in those days - no direct connection that we know of). 

Back in '87 LeRoy family gatherings had a pretty formal dress code. I'm pretty sure this was because the previous generation only had what I would define as formal (or what they would call proper) clothing. I never saw my father-in-law in jeans or my mother-in-law not in heels (and usually pearls). There may have been exceptions, but they were so infrequent that I don't remember them. 

In this first pic our budding family is all dressed up, ready to receive guests (Part 1 of the birthday festival was held at our house).


As I dwell on this picture, I have to admit we look pretty good in our party duds. Maybe there's something to this "take pride in your appearance" thing. 

In this next pic we're well into the festivities, with the the girls providing Grandma LeRoy with any assistance she might need in opening presents. Over the years the girls became quite adept at opening other people's stuff.


And here we have the birthday girl, fittingly bedecked and poised to make her secret wish. 


In this next pic Marge's best birthday gift ever - her son David - is, with the help of sons Matthew and Brian, earning his own secret wish. I'm happy to report that in both cases the candles were vanquished.


A few days later we went over to Nancy's parents' house for Part 2, Rae's big day. This time Ted was with us for the traditional pre-party family photo.


You'll note that our dress was less formal than usual for a LeRoy family get-together, sweaters and slacks rather than ties and dresses. I'm guessing it was a workday event, and we were too tired to gussy up. 

There were very few pics taken that day, again maybe a lack-of-energy issue. But we do have this shot of the honoree, unusually informal himself for such an event, ready to perform his birthday duty.  


As an aside, I have to admit that the concept of dressing up was a little confusing for Christine and Cathy when they were young. Because in the kid world dressing up usually means this.


Putting on other people's shoes and old clothes from a box in the basement. Of course, in the parent world it means this.


Tubbed and scrubbed and nattily clad. But over time the girls learned the difference between DRESS up and dress UP. You can guess which one they preferred.

Back to the festival, Part 3. Nancy's birthday party was held at Rae and Marge's on the 30th. As indicated by the following photos, we were all back into formal mode. Everybody wore their own shoes. Here's the birthday girl posing and puffing right on schedule with Christine, attentive as always, taking in every detail.



This next shot of me "supervising" Cathy while she demolishes a piece of cake appears to be a harbinger of what would eventually be referred to as DLS - dad-level supervision. As long as she didn't stab herself with her fork, things were cool.


The party moved on as expected. There was a team-based gift-opening exercise


Modeling of new wardrobe items (not necessarily by the new owner.)


And admiration and support from the home office. Here they are in their party finery, enjoying the festivities in their own sort of proper, restrained manner. I would describe them as...pleased as punch.



The evening was a grand success, and even included a party game. Here we are splayed out on the floor, party clothes and all, immersed in a game of cutthroat Rush Hour (also known as Traffic Jam).


Two things about this picture. First, we have had this game since...well I guess since 1987. I had always thought it was a gift to one of the kids. This picture may indicate otherwise.

And second, after many years on the shelf at the cottage our grandkids have rediscovered this game and are nuts about it. And embarrassingly, are way better at it than I ever was. I never even knew there were "degree of difficulty" cards tucked in the bottom (grandson Ian found them). Here's a better pic of the game in case you have grandkids that would like to embarrass you.


Can't let October pass without at least one pic from 1987's Halloween costumes. Here are our two sweeties dressed for the big night. Note that the perennial pumpkin outfit has migrated to a new owner.


This brings us to November and an atypical birthday event. The only family birthday in November is mine, on the 14th. After the October birthday bashes, my celebration was usually a lower key happening involving my favorite foods - oyster stew, breaded pork steak, and a cherry pie. The meal would be preceded by (what else) a healthy Manhattan and followed by an offering of traditional Dad gifts - a tie, a tool, a can of Simonize. No. Just kidding. My family has always been thoughtful and generous in their gifting choices. 

All of these annual rituals went down as expected again in 1987. But there was more. As it was my 40th, Nancy planned and neatly pulled off a great surprise party for me. Friends came from all over - New York, Toronto, even Ohio. I was totally blown away. It was a great night full of memories. 

And though I didn't realize it at the time, I think a seed was planted in my psyche that night - that these types of gatherings should occur more often. In retrospect, I can feel a direct line from that event to our family's subsequent long-standing tradition of hosting picnics, music gatherings, golf outings, even those very enjoyable backyard cocktail parties. 

As I looked through the pictures from that night, I was struck by a couple of things. One was how bad our wall paper was. As Will Smith uttered in a similar situation in Men in Black, "Damn." 

On a more poignant note, the second thing was how many of my oldest IRS friends had passed. Among them was this unforgettable party animal Bob D, seen here as I greet him at the front door. A total surprise. He and his bride had flown in from New Jersey for the occasion. 


Bob was famous in his day for throwing over-the-top house parties and for amateur photography. Those blowup pics on our family room wall that many of you are familiar with were taken by Bob in 1980. They are our personal favorites from that era. The one of me is from one of Bob's parties at a karaoke mic.


The one of Nancy was taken in her grandmother's wicker rocker at Avon Rae, the family cottage at Ipperwash Beach.


Other lost friends that came to party that day included Brian O, shown here with Bob. Brian and I worked together on and off for nearly 30 years.


Erik E is shown below in dad mode. Erik was the poet of our little social circle at work and was always entertaining us when we needed it.


Ralph S was there. Ralph was with me in the old Magic Kingdom Days (see previous post) and later during my Special Procedures tenure ('85-'90). Ralph was also a long-time participant in our Spinner golf outings and a fellow Buttercup (the early '80s bowling team that pre-dated the Spinners; a story for another time). Ralph is shown below with his bride Janis.


And finally Dick M, the guest I had known the second longest. 


I met Dick in my college days (circa 1968), hung out in state park camp grounds with him the summer before I was drafted, became his brother-in-law, recruited him for the IRS, and bowled and golfed with him for many years. He was a kind and devoted friend. In 1982 during our Magic Kingdom days I dubbed him The Duke of Inkster in honor of the outstanding dance parties he hosted at his Inkster apartment complex. From that time on in our circles he was known as The Duke. 

I've shared these last few photos only because I thought those of you who knew Bob, Brian, Erik, Ralph or Dick might appreciate a little blast from the past. Fine fellows all. 

The good news is that there were plenty of guests at my 40th birthday party who are still going strong. Like my bride's Canadian cousins Lynne (seated) and Ann (seated higher) who had driven in from Toronto. These girls know how to party.


Little did Ann know she would be speaking to one of Grosse Pointe's finest before the night was over. Upon arrival in Michigan the Canadians had driven directly to the party, which was at our home. But their overnight reservations were at Nancy's parents' house a few blocks away. 

Weary from partying and the long trip, Ann and her spouse decided to take their leave a little early and walk the few blocks to Rae and Marge's place. So off they went down the street in the wee hours of the morning, dragging their roller bags. 

They didn't get very far before a patrol car profiled them as "persons acting in a suspicious manner". But after some pleasant conversation and presentation of proper ID, they were able to convince the officers that they weren't running out on the rent or casing the neighborhood for larcenous purposes. Eventually, the potential perps were freed on their own recognizance and proceeded to their safe house. It all made for a great breakfast story the next morning.

Two other very old friends also made it to the party. The first was John W, shown below with his bride Patricia. John appears to be in conversation (which is his way) with someone just out of the frame. Patricia seems to be taunting him (which is often her way). 


I first met John in 1976 while living in Swartz Creek, a little town just outside of Flint. We were a couple of doors apart in a townhouse complex. We had many common interests and became fast friends. 

In 1987, and since I believe, John and Patricia have lived in their native Toledo a little more than an hour away. We have maintained our friendship all these years, able to get together semi-regularly for dinners, the occasional Mudhens game or more recently a late breakfast on our frequent trips to Florida. John is the most even-tempered person I've ever met, a trait that I greatly admire.

The other old friend that made the party was Jim H, shown here looking on while Nancy and I trip the light fantastic (not a very good picture of Jim but great of the birthday boy and his party girl :-).


Jim is the friend I've known the longest. We went through the same middle and high schools one grade apart but didn't formally meet and start to hangout until our college days in the late '60s. We shared many experiences over the years, some life-changing (like boot camp), and have seldom been out of touch for any length of time. 

Jim has moved around a lot through his career, and I can't remember exactly where he traveled in from to make the party. He now hangs his hat in the Knoxville area, but until recently it was in Cincinnati that Nancy and I would often catch up with him over Goldstar Chili on our trips to and from Florida. He is the kind of friend that when you sit down to visit after an extended absence, the conversation quickly picks up right where it left off.

Of course, there were many local friends on hand that night, too, that are still big players in my social circle. Like Robyn M shown next to me below, and Linda C and Dave D standing behind us. (That hunky guy lurking in the background is Bruce C, another longtime friend and a founding father of  Spinner Golf)


Here's a much better shot of Linda with Nancy, friends since high school and college roommates.


Here's one last pic from my 40th birthday party, me making my usual secret wish. Sorry. Can't tell you. It's a secret.


Thanks for sharing these special birthday memories with me. It was fun reliving them again.

That just about brings us to the holidays of 1987. That's where I'll pick up the Memory Lane trail next time. 

And happy birthday everyone, whenever your turn comes around.

Grosse Pointe Charles