2020 - Big Mistake or Bad Idea...

...as humorist Dave Barry would say. Or how about that Gabriel Garcia Marquez classic Love in the Time of Cholera Corona (now an Internet miniseries by the way). You get the idea. 2020 was suboptimal.

It has not been my practice to give this blog over to controversy or weighty matters. There are plenty of outlets for those who wish to do that. I generally immerse myself in the long view, which I find more interesting. Things like evolution and ancient astronaut theory. You know, the basics. In the spirit of full disclosure I do admit to occasionally peeking out the window to see what's happening in the real world. This past year that was a mistake. 2020 and the pandemic have been such a train wreck, I feel they warrant comment. 

First a minor political observation. Trouble is trouble. It's bad. But in times of trouble there are still solid citizens - even heroes - doing the right things everywhere everyday. I take solace in that. It encourages me to remain confident that we will survive the chaos and emerge stronger and enlightened. We are paying a terrible price for our past and continuing inattention to reason. My hope is that in the long run, those who brought us to this unhappy state will pay the lion's share of that price.

That said, I believe the lighter side of "life in the time of corona" could stand nurturing. Comedians and comedy writers have done their part. There have been numerous efforts to portray in humorous ways the unwelcome changes that have been foisted upon us, notwithstanding the backdrop of tragedy. This post is my contribution to that cause. 

As this blog is mainly about... me, so is this post. Consider it reflection by a comfortably retired senior, not dependent on a weekly paycheck, living in cozy digs fashioned in all ways for my own pleasures and staffed by dedicated caregivers (my bride and our mood-management dog Coco). So what's my problem? Have I in my private paradise been touched by the cacophony around me? Plenty.

First, there are what I will here refer to as inconveniences. These may seem like small issues in the face of a contagion. And they are. But, if you haven't had to do anything that you didn't want to do for years excepting doctor stuff, inconveniences can feel like a big deal. Here are a few:

Living behind a mask. Masks have joined the ranks of required clothing, like underwear and socks. A clothes horse like myself needs a mask to accent every ensemble. Fortunately, I have a live-in clothier keeping me chic. My current favorite mask is the one she crafted out of an old Captiva Island denim shirt. Talk about PPE. On the upside, I don't worry anymore about a speck of spinach sticking to my teeth.

Keeping away from friends and family. I'm not a big hugger by nature which I attribute to too much sensitivity training as a government employee. But it's just not normal to see my kids, my grandkids, my mother and close friends without that accepting and uplifting hug. As Scarlett O'Hara's nanny in Gone With the Wind would put it, "Ain't fittin'. Ain't fittin'. Just ain't fittin'."

Eating in, almost always. I'm all for a healthy diet. I'm for balanced meals, prudent snacking and reasonable use of Canadian imports. But what makes the whole thing work is the guilt that comes with a calorie-rich breakfast at the Coney Island, or a fancy repast at an upscale restaurant, or best of all a total pig-out at a gathering of friends. It's the guilt that gives one the motivation to get back and stay on the program until the next oasis of gluttony. Without those periodic rewards, the whole eat-healthy thing sort of loses its zip.

Losing sports. I'm not a big sports fan, but I'm a pretty big "homer". Meaning I try to follow Detroit pro teams and those teams from colleges to which I have paid tuition. In pre-COVID 19 times, I tried to keep up with how my faves were faring. I usually knew if they were having a winning season (the college teams) or a losing season (the pro teams). But now, I don't even know what sports are in season. I'm pretty sure baseball is over, but the rest is a blur. Fortunately, the last time I had a good look at local sports doings, just about every team I follow was underperforming. So maybe I should just move on.
 

Living from one hand sanitizer application to the next. Again, I'm all for cleanliness. COVID by necessity has taken this pursuit to a whole new level. From a process point of view, my default lens, everything I do now has extra steps. Take pumping gas on the road. It used to be get out of the car, pump the gas, log in the gallons and price into the gas book, stop into the restroom, and then pull out of the station without bumping into anything. Now I insert a visit to the hand sanitizer bottle between most of these steps. Even after washing my hands in the restroom. P is for paranoia. 

The good news is that despite these and other inconveniences, the determined among us have figured out ways of safely doing some of the things we have to do or just really like to do. Some examples.

Shopping for groceries. This one for half of us turns out to be fairly simple. The trick is to be the oldest and most medically vulnerable member of your household. Surprisingly, at 651 Vernier that's me! Who thought all of those unpleasant diagnoses and health speed bumps would have a silver lining. Fortunately, my bride is well-prepared to weather those periodic EDAs (extra-domicile-activities) with minimal risk. Proper gear, a shopping plan and execution during low-attendance periods are the key. Also, avoiding any aisle with a confused-looking man pushing a shopping cart in bedroom slippers (a la Lebowski) is an important rule. As a result, I find my normal food acquisition process - adding a desired item to the list on the refrigerator - still works fine.

Hair care: Being a boy, this one crept up on me. I've used the services of an in-house hair trimmer ever since my barber intimated that she felt guilty taking her fee. Apparently the three and a half minutes it took her to service my thinly populated scalp wasn't professionally fulfilling. However, it was a different story for my bride. Trauma would be a good word. She like many of her friends and women around the world, deprived of their hair stylists, were faced with battling time on their own. 

I understand some women drafted their spouses (tortured might be a better description) as substitute hair caregivers. Realizing what a disaster that would be in our house, my bride used the opportunity to "go gray" and get it over with. The process was a little scary for her in the beginning. But she slugged it out and is now quite content with her new look, and happy I believe to be free of hair-color tyranny. Lemons to lemonade, as it were.

Road trips: This may seem like an unlikely item to continue during a national pandemic, even for someone whose auto license plate reads "TRPSRUS". And for awhile it was. We cancelled three trips from March to July including a swing through the Gulf states and a two-week excursion to the Canadian Maritimes to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. But in August we took advantage of slightly slackened restrictions and journeyed south to visit my mother in Florida. She hadn't seen a sensible human in person since February (her non-masking, socially irresponsible neighbors flitting back and forth to bingo in their golf carts didn't count). 

That six-month period from February to August was the longest gap between mom visits in many years. And she was lonely. Way. Not easy for a social animal like my mother to isolate herself for months on end, limited to cable news, soap operas and Judge Marilyn. On the road we learned that through the magic of automation and smart phones we could gas up, stay in a nice hotel, and survive on fast "food" for a couple of days with hardly any human contact. An arm sticking out of a drive-thru window was about it. At mom's we wore masks, distanced and sanitized. Fortifying our resolve with Canadian attitude-sanitizer helped a great deal, too. Especially for mom.

We have since taken three other road trips, abiding by the same safety rules. One to see a small group of friends in Tennessee and twice more to Florida. We have even stayed at Disney resorts, sticking mostly to our rooms, cooking or eating take-out, and walking the grounds as our primary entertainment. No theme parks, no theaters, no restaurants, no public transportation, and only minimal shopping in mostly over-sanitized empty stores. It was different. But, surprisingly relaxing. At least for me. I sort of blossom in an atmosphere where I don't have to get up and go do something.   

Gathering - virtually: One word - Zoom. I know there are other virtual meeting tools (Hangouts, Duo, Facetime) but Zoom has become so common in our everyday lives that it's now a verb in many languages. And for good reason. It has enabled everyone from the computer-literate to the cyber-challenged to visit in groups if they can open an email and click on the blue text. It has kept families safely in touch and given businesses who could adapt a fighting chance. 

Our music club, formally known as The Music Night Federation of Metropolitan Detroit (mugs and tee shirts are available) has continued in a modified virtual mode without missing a beat.  The pace of our remote MNF chats has been somewhat slower than our in-person parties, due to the vagaries of the Internet. But the virtual mode has a silver lining. Members who are geographically remote have been able to join in the fun more frequently. And everyone seems glad to see each other and share/hear how we are all doing. 

Another social activity that has survived are "Spinner" get-togethers. As described at length in earlier posts, the Spinners are a small group of friends who have been doing something together on Thursday nights (bowl, curl, karaoke, imbibe) since the '80s. True, the level of physical activity has waned in recent years. These days it's limited mostly to jaw and elbow exercises. As a matter of fact, I don't think it's too far fetched to say that Spinning has become more cerebral. Not intellectual, mind you. That would be a stretch. More think-tanked than think tank. But definitely cerebral. The range and depth of issues we find to disagree on in a two-three hour carouse can be impressive.

The pandemic seriously threatened this weekly ritual. In the beginning, we adapted by gathering on the patio of one of our group. We each brought our own drinks and snacks, and sat on yard furniture at a respectable distance. The live music we were used to at the bar was replaced by the elaborate rolling music machine of another one of our group. We were quite proud of ourselves through mid-October. Then it got cold.

Undaunted, we adapted again by going to Zoom. Since Halloween our weekly Spinning has been done virtually. We don't last quite as long as with the live sessions, but we enjoy it and can do it from anywhere. That having been said, we are all waiting desperately for our return to in-person Spinning at the bar, with the old mediocre live music and doting barmaids. I miss the seasoned fries and getting smacked gently on the back of the head for utterances that don't quite rise to our (newly found) high cerebral plane. I'm so glad I said this first. 

Before closing this post, I would like to share just a couple more thoughts regarding 2020 and the pandemical world we share.

Is it worth the risk? That's the question we've had to deal with since last March. "It", of course, refers to anything and everything you want to do. Should I see family? See friends? Grocery shop? Travel to see mom? Eat at a restaurant? Go to the doctor? Gather with friends on a patio or in a backyard? And many, many other what-used-to-be-normal activities. We weigh the risks, assess the benefits, look for ways to make what we want to do safe, make a decision and then hope nothing goes bad. It was life in 2020 and will continue to be what we do for at least the first half of 2021. It's stressful, tiring, and depressing. But...it's the only defense we currently have against the dreaded bug. 

What's next? For me, vaccination would be nice. Shouldn't be too long now. We've received preliminary calls from our health care provider. After that, I expect we will begin expanding our bubble slowly and cautiously as others get their shots and the COVID stats begin to decline. Eventually, our social world will return to something like what it was. But not entirely.

I've read a bit about dangerous viruses, new to most of us but not new to the world. These ancient life forms have been happy to hide out in tropical jungles for millennia. But with ever-increasing deforestation, the growing popularity of exotic animals as a food source, and nearly unrestricted global travel, viruses are looking for and able to find new hosts. They like humans a lot. So our challenge isn't only to survive this pandemic. It's to be smart about how the world is changing and adapt, to prevent all this from happening again. It should be obvious to even the casual observer that it's a bad time to be a slow learner.

But enough gloom. Nancy and I are more than ready to resume the active and happy social life we have enjoyed for years. Even if the rules may be slightly different. We missed the 2020 summer that wasn't. And are looking forward to making up for it in 2021.

Grosse Pointe Charles