What - Me Worry?

A few weeks ago during a conversation with friends I happened to mention that I don't worry much about the future. I was asked how that could be in the face of the many national and global crises we are facing. Good question, but I managed an answer. In circuitous fashion I explained that 1) there's a lot of good people doing good things in the world, and 2) I am more focused on how I deal with the world than how it deals with me. 

First a little context. Those of you who grew up about the same time I did will remember this guy.

Alfred E. Neuman, the icon of Mad Magazine, was a blissfully ignorant soul floating through life without a care because he had no idea of what was happening to him or anyone else. His motto was the title of this post. 

Alfred provided a lot of comic relief in his day, and in his mischievous way kept us from taking life so seriously. With today's 24-hour cable news, online alerts, reality shows and fractured social media, blissful ignorance is nearly impossible. Nor, I might add, is it really desirable. It's good to know what's going on. But I try not to let bad news dominate my life.

Another fictional hero of mine is this guy from the movie Harvey - one Elwood P. Dowd.

Elwood's carefree nature came from a firm belief that the way to get through life was to be extremely pleasant. Always. To everyone. No matter what. He did pretty well in the movie, partially because he had a pooka (large imaginary rabbit) to help him when he faced tough choices. I see two problems with this approach. One, most of us don't have a pooka. And two, just being pleasant would likely not be enough in today's world. 

To this last point, let's do a quick review of the bad news that's getting most of the daily coverage: the pandemic is morphing into endemic status, politics has become the purview of self-serving Pied Pipers, civility and civic duty seem to be going the way of the dodo, and now the Russian emperor is channeling Adolf Hitler. So how can we keep all this bad news from driving us to depression and hopelessness? Short of slipping into blissful ignorance or happening upon a pooka?   

For starters, it helps to be an optimist by nature (which I get from my mother). By that I mean I try to look at adverse situations thoughtfully, and avoid searching for blame or feeling put upon. Rather, I start looking for ways to minimize consequences and fix things. It feels good to be helping. There's always time down the road for a post-mortem on how to protect the future.

If you are not naturally optimistic, your hill is a little steeper to climb. But with some introspection and a little practice, that can change. Of course, there's more to reducing worry and preserving positive feelings than just being an optimist. One's view of how the world works matters a lot. Here's how my view of the world helps me stay on the sunny side. 

The big picture. It's helpful to understand how we all fit into what I call The Big Picture. For my part, I break down our complex society into two groups of people - influencers and navigators. 

I define influencers as people who by political station, wealth or broad popularity can personally influence our American culture. They are for the most part politicians, billionaires (our American oligarchy), media moguls and personalities, and religious icons. People dominating the news. Every once in a while sports or entertainment figures may emerge as influencers, but their impact is most often limited to a particular cause or issue. 

Influencers have special powers, privileges and responsibilities. The laws, rules and norms of society within which the rest of us have to survive are (IMHO) largely decided by influencers. I can't imagine the worries that plague influencers, knowing that their decisions and actions will impact so many lives. They should be and usually are worried about the big picture and should be prepared to do something to improve it. Big-time worrying is part of their roles, and they signed up for it.

I realize some influencers have succumbed to the narcissism of power and only worry about keeping it and getting more. But most I believe truly try to make things better for the rest of us (well, maybe not the oligarchs).

Navigators are those whose plight is limited to getting by within the world defined by the influencers. In other words, most of us. My point is that whether by choice or by fate, navigators are as a rule not equipped as individuals to move the needle of history. Navigators can certainly interact with influencers through letters, public hearings, protests, contributions of time or money, voting. But I accept that these actions are indirect, with unknown actual impact. As such, I don't worry about them. I just try to do those things that feel right, and move on. 

This is not to say that as a navigator I feel powerless. There are lots of things I do have the power to impact. My family, my friends, my community, and most importantly my own behavior. And with that power comes responsibilities - and worries. But these are good worries. Worries that raise my awareness of situations that could benefit from my involvement. More on good worries in moment. First let's go back to the good people mentioned in my intro.

Underneath all of the ballyhoo of the influencers are millions of people going about their business making the world better. Most of these individuals fall into my navigator category. They are health care workers, public safety workers, research scientists, school teachers, humanitarians, government employees at all levels - I could go on. But you get the picture. 

These individuals don't often make the daily news, but they are there. Working steadily and constantly improving our lives, undeterred by global crises or bad actors in high places. It is my belief that the collective works of these everyday heroes over time are the true drivers of our future. And I try to follow their lead. 

Structure is my tool of choice for navigating the world I live in. And good worries are an important part of it. Years ago I sorted out my life priorities. I then developed goals, strategies for achieving those goals and mechanisms for tracking progress (the Franklin system actually). 

Good worries arise when my tracking reveals that one or more of my strategies aren't having the desired effect. My natural response is to think through the problems and try to get back on track. The worries are the trigger. The good feeling of doing something to solve a problem quickly turns the worry to a sense of control and confidence that the system works. 

Of course, like everyone, I have bad moments. Sorrow for those suffering here and around the world. Anger at those who in my opinion are the cause of the suffering. Even worry about how it will all turn out. Only natural. But after a short while my optimism kicks in. I find myself reviewing the logic laid out above, and I right the ship. And move on to something constructive.

I do have a few specific things I do to keep upbeat. All are squarely in a navigator's wheelhouse. The first is to work on my fitness. When I eat right, exercise and get enough sleep, all my systems run better. Including those coping skills needed to address worries.

Second, I spend time on hobbies almost everyday. Good music, a favorite movie or a good hour squeezing my accordion really pumps out the endorphins. A good book can also raise spirits. 

I like books on newly discovered history as they improve my understanding of how the world really worked in the past. I also like books on scientific breakthroughs for the glimpse they provide on how life might look in the future. A good spy novel or Stephen King thriller can also be fun. 

Finally, I share my good feelings with anyone who'll let me. Optimism can be contagious. Nancy and I entertain a lot, travel to see friends and family all we can, and keep each other abreast of how we are doing ourselves everyday. And of course, there's the blog. 

So my secret's out. I'm okay with that. And whatever you're worrying about, it'll work out. At least that should be your operating assumption.

Stay safe.

Grosse Pointe Charles